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"It feels so good, but I know I shouldn't."
"Maybe I will get attention from that fine boy in school if I wear the short skirt today."
"We are just kissing. It won't lead to anything."
"He can't have an STD. He seems so smart, and he goes to church."
"I am not sleeping with many men, just my boyfriend. We have been together for a long time, and he loves me. So I am not sinning."
I heard an alarming statistic recently that made me want to address this topic. One of three teenage girls get pregnant. That means that more than 33% of teenage girls are sexually active. We all know there are several consequences to having sex (protected or unprotected): pregnancy, stds, emotional changes and self-esteem issues. When I was growing up, sex was a taboo topic within the church. The church just said sex is wrong and that was it. The truth is that God created sex for reproduction (Genesis 1:28) and pleasure in marriage (Song of Solomon). Sex is not bad when used within the purpose given by our creator. Yet fornication, illicit sexual intercourse, is in the Bible 26 times. Why does the Bible talk so much about fornication? (1 Corinthians 6:18-20) God is not trying to deny us from pleasures, he wants to protect us from the consequences that he knows will happen if we indulge in sex outside of its created purpose.
The quotations at the beginning of the article are thoughts that can lead to fornication or continously indulging in premarital sex. I believe that these thoughts can be changed. I believe that young people can be abstinant. Even if you are not a virgin, you can practice abstinence. You may be thinking, I tried abstinence before and it didn't work or how can I practice celibacy when I already know how good sex makes me feel. Megan Good is a great celebrity example of someone who became celibate (View article through link below). You have to decide what is more important: your body and your relationship with Christ or the few moments of pleasure. The few moments of pleasure can lead to consequences that can change the rest of your life.
Self-control, one of the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), is an answer to avoiding fornication. Believe or not, you have control over your thoughts and actions. Remember the WWJD bracelets that were so popular a few years ago? Well, when you start thinking about that fine man that you want so bad, think WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) When the devil tempted Jesus, Jesus said "Be gone Satan." (Matthew 4:10 ESV). Remember if you have God's Holy Spirit in you, you have the power of God in you. So you can say "Be gone Satan," and he will flee.
I know it may seem easier said than done because we are constantly in war with our fleshly desires. You have to make up in your mind that you want to please God more than you want to please your momentary desire or your boyfriend. You have to make a decision that your body is worthy of someone who loves you and will make a covenant of marriage before the Lord. When I made the decision to obey God and become a minister, I knew that I had to also take a vow of celibacy. I definitely do not want to be a minister of the Gospel while struggling with controlling sexual desires. It is more important for me to be in right relationship with Christ than to fulfill my fleshly desires. I am fortunate to date a man of God who also feels the same way. There are several things you can do to apply self-control. Some of the things we do are (1) not spend nights at each other's place and (2) no kissing (other than a peck) and feeling each other. Basically we avoid situations that will lead to sex. If Megan Good, myself, and others can do it, you can do it too. Please feel free to share your story of celibacy or how to apply self-contol.
Megan Good Article
(http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2012/05/meagan-good-swears-off-sex-until-marriage/)
I believe some of it goes to education. Most...well maybe some people learned about sex in the street or from there friends because parents were too afraid to talk to there kids about it or told them just enough to make them curious about it or the one we hear a lot "not my child". But lets face it the majority of us have had premarital sex before and lets be honest sex feels good. It can be a ego boost or a comfort or a guilty pleasure or all three. There can be pleasure in sex if used for what GOD intended and if not you have unplanned pregnancies, STDs, emotion connection and lust and none of those things are things you want in your life. I think through education and having christian minded people in your circle definitely helps. But I believe it boils down to your own conviction. We all need to be well minded and know that God does not see BIG sins and little sins. I'm only having sex with this one person and he/she loves me so it's ok. And I know we are human and the flesh is STRONG. But we have to know that God sees SIN as SIN. If you take that candy bar from that store without paying it or if you kill someone. God sees these as sins and you have to come to the throne with the same conviction and ask God to forgive you. The same thing with sex, it's not ok if you are not married. Now these are just my opinions but would love to see more thoughts from the brothers out there.
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